P(r)o(ton)sitivity

Well look who it is.. here I am.. who would have thought. Surely this blog is just so amazing that someone hacked me and you will never be able to uncover my real identity.

Cool, done with the socially awkward intro.

Today is Thursday so I naturally sat down on my sofa, cat in lap, with wine in hand and thought what in the heck am I going to do with all of this free time before bedtime? I feel like I haven’t had a night to actually THINK about what I want to do. I have certainly fell into the trap of society, doing and going places because I feel like I am supposed to without thinking about what I actually want.

The important part is that I am here now, writing (subpar), doing what I love to do most.

Unfortunately, it has been so long since I have last written that I had to read my last blog to remember what I was talking about. I must admit it wasn’t exactly my type of fun as I was in a lot of pain physically and mentally back then. On a positive note I was blossoming and still trying to keep a positive mindset even in dark times so that is nice to see.

Fast forward three months and here I am. Happy(er), healthy(er), and back living as normal as I possibly can. I guess I wasn’t too far off and thinking that I was blossoming just elsewhere in an environment unexpected.

In my past blog I mentioned the importance of environment and surroundings. I keep coming back to this concept and started to break it down at an individual level. As you can imagine, my brain went a bit spacey.. so this this is what I’ve come to realise.

Humans are made up atoms. Atoms are made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons. Only protons and neutrons remain in the nucleus with the electrons surrounding. For anyone that has taken a science class in their life they will be aware that protons have positive charges and neutrons are neutral, meaning no charge. I started to think about how important that is for us as individuals as our souls and who we are naturally have a positive and/or neutral ground to start on, it is not until the negative experiences (electrons) start to take charge, quite literally, do we start to feel unbalanced.

Scientifically, protons and neutrons weigh about the same so although neutrons do not have a charge, they still greatly contribute to overall mass. I took this meaning that largely who we are is created by positive experiences effected by the electrons. Electrons do not weigh much, but have a huge impact on the charge of the atom. Unfortunately, in life the electrons can feel quite heavy. These electrons can quickly change and overtake our charge, changing our outlook.

I started to think of myself as a living nucleus and taking note of those around me. Were they bringing more positive energy, building my nucleus? Were they on the outside trying to bring me down?

Although not scientifically possible, do I have electrons that are trying to enter the nucleus?

I know this exercise may not be helpful or relatable for a lot of people, but for me it has been a bit of a reality check. Am I investing time in things or people that are benefiting me? Am I surrounding myself with trends or temporary beings? Who do I want to invest in?

Moving countries and meeting a lot of people certainly doesn’t make it easy as it can be hard to find yourself in a new setting and feel like you have really connected with people on a personal level. I often find myself seeking to build connections with people that are electrons and neutrons. Although, neutrons don’t bring negativity, they do bring extra weight.

Be aware of yourself and your energy, take note of those around, and what they do to that energy.

Sometimes all you need is a change of energy. Maybe even reduce the mass, fill the space with positivity not so(u)ley weight.

Create you. Be you. Be the cha(r)ge you want to see in the world.

Love yourself.