Con(venience)tinue

A short time has passed, but a lot of knowledge or shall I say thoughts have risen. I suppose that is what happens when thinking becomes your full time job. I suppose I do have the freedom of switching it up if I wanted to, but something tells me that my brain would not allow that. That is actually why I am here today.

I got in this phase of where I wanted to try so many different things because I had read that the more we expose ourselves to different things and different understandings then it can increase our creativity as we will then be making connections with things that we did not know before and things that have been stored in our mind. For me, that meant that instead of expressing myself by writing then I wanted to have my go at drawing, colouring, painting, and other forms of expression. I definitely enjoyed doing all of them and switching it up from time to time, but it wasn’t really until today that I realised I needed to make writing a daily habit of mine.

I do still write even though I don’t publish it all the times as sometimes it’s just me and my current thoughts and feelings, sometimes it’s poetry, sometimes it’s these blogs, sometimes it may be me writing about my adventures in my dairy. Lots of forms of writings, but I think I need to my blogging part of my weekly habits because I realised that when I don’t sit down and give myself the opportunity to write and get my thoughts down then my brain goes in overload and it is hard for me to make sense of anything. I have so many thoughts that I can’t develop any of them clearly or go with one idea because my head is like oh but what about this one, remember you said that word and made you think of this, you heard this today and you thought that may be related to that, oh yeah did you look into that thing after all, trust me there’s even more, but enough for now.

These past few months have been, hm, awakening? Not too sure of the word I really want to use, but we will go with that. As many of you know, life for me right now just consists of living. I have pretty much free range to do whatever I would like to do with my day, only thing I really need to make sure I do is take care of little sir Rutherford who is a fluff ball of joy and energy. Being able to have this opportunity to only focus on me and what I want to do has not been as easy as I would have expected.

In theory it sounds nice and may be nice for some people, but for me it has been challenging. My first week of arriving in Australia was filled with excitement and tears. One moment I would be thriving and trying to thoroughly enjoy every moment possible because I knew that this life is not sustainable nor what I want to do with my life. The next moment I would have tears flowing down my face asking myself what the heck am I doing, why would I leave a job where I was making the most money I ever have and working alongside some of the best people I have met, I was comfortable, had everything under control, sweet living arrangement, I mean I was living the life. Why would I finally get familiar and comfortable with a place and now decide to leave it all, go to a country where I know nobody and not have a job lined up.

That is when I would take myself back to the reasons to why I came in the first place. I was comfortable and that’s a problem. That means I’m not growing. I wanted to explore a new country. I wanted a change and a challenge. I wanted to learn about another culture and a new adventure. I knew that becoming the best me means that I need to take the risk and put myself in these situations so that I can learn and grow to develop into an untapped me. That’s what makes me, me.

Not too long ago, I was riding in the car back home in Virginia listening to the radio when something useful actually came on the station. I’m not exactly sure the full context of what was being said because I wasn’t really processing the words coming through, but what did stick was the analogy of people and popcorn.

Some wise woman had come up with this analogy to help motivate people that essentially says to think about popcorn from the time it is a kernel in the bag to when it is popped. You have a whole bag of un-popped popcorn, you put it in the microwave, and miraculously some kernels decide to pop before the others. The kernels are all given the same conditions, same bag, same microwave, some heating process, but for some reason some kernels pop within seconds, others take longer, and some remain at the bottom of the bag un-popped.

When we think of this in terms of people, although we are never given the same circumstances it is important to remember that regardless of our circumstances some situations we may pop before others and other situations just weren’t made for us. Maybe we need to try and get popped again? There is something special in all of us that if we take the time to discover it then when the time is right we will pop.

We don’t need to compare ourselves to others, we don’t need to think about what others have compared to what we don’t, it doesn’t matter. What matters is what you are willing to do with what you have got and what you will put in to what you want to get.

I was listening to a podcast the other morning when one of the guys quoted the book of life saying how we judge a tree by the fruit that it bears, not what the tree may think it wants to be or talks about, but what it has. We will never be the person we want to be if we only continue talking about it. It is in our actions that will show people who we are and that is what will represent who we are becoming.

As I walked home after listening to that podcast trying to really digest everything I had listened to it made me realise how much I enjoyed the hour long walk home after the gym (if I didn’t feel like running it). In that moment I was appreciating the fact that I could walk, the fact that I could be outside in the sun during the day, and the fact that I had the luxury to decide how I wanted to spend my time. All positive thoughts, but then I thought about how my perception and attitude may change had I had a ride home everyday. I thought back to the first time I ran into the city and thought about how I felt. I must say I wasn’t thrilled about it, not even sure I enjoyed it except for the fact that I could say I got my run in for the day. That is when I came to the conclusion of convenience.

Humans live out of convenience. Our lives are for the most part dictated by what we find convenient. Our behaviour does not change until we believe that the inconvenience may benefit us and then that is when we make the inconvenient, convenient. My example of walking home. Did not want to do it at first. Dreaded it and even thought about not going because I hated the idea of walking home for that long. Then I realised all of the possibilities that I could do with that time, I could run, FaceTime my family, think, appreciate the world around me, so many things that could benefit me in numerous ways. Suddenly the inconvenient became convenient.

I’m not sure where this journey is leading me and I don’t really have my ‘dreams’ figured out. Some days I make excuses and that delays me achieving the things that I want to achieve. Something inside me is telling me that I am on the right path though so for now I am going to just try and to continue down that road as long as I can. Some days I might be travelling at 123mph and other days I may be repairing a popped tyre. Who knows where I am headed, but I guarantee it will be good because I am going to make it that way.

Food for thought: What’s your inconvenience? Good or bad? If good, what is stopping you from making it convenient. Make it convenient, form a habit.

Go pop you little piece of popcorn.