P[(u)r]pose

The strangest thing happened…

Today, I watched an empowering video that encouraged me to write down my life purpose. Thinking that at that moment I had all the time in the world, I decided this was a good idea. For some reason, I decided that I should write my life goal and then write my life purpose.

Seeing how this is the first time I have ever physically written down a life goal and a life purpose, I wanted to make sure that it sounded nice, that it was truly what I believed and wanted to accomplish, and that it moved me so that I knew whenever I read it I would feel pushed and meaningful.

I am not going to share what I wrote because if you choose to do the same then I do not want the thought of my words in your head. They need to be your own, they need to mean something to you, they need to make sense to you. What I am going to share is what happened next.

As you could imagine I felt inspired, I felt like I was ready to take on the world, I was happy, I was ready to kill it. I then sat there for a few moments realizing that these words were only going to empower me by reading them unless I actually do something to achieve it.

What am I doing with my life? What am I doing now to achieve my goals and fullfil my purpose? It was then that I realized that the thing I ALWAYS thought I wanted to do as a kid and my purpose collided.

The feelings that I would get from doing my dream job would not fill me with the emotions I would get if I were fulfilling my purpose. If I were doing my dream job, I feel as if I would actually be frustrated and angry because the duties of that job would have me targeting the wrong people. The people that I would be targeting are not the ‘bad guys’, they are the puppets. What good is it going to do to target things that can be replaced opposed to targeting the source?

My dream job would have me targeting the wrong people, my life purpose would have me targeting the source or even not targeting at all. Maybe targeting, but not in an aggressive manner, more of a target population, but the actions that I would take would be very different to the actions of the job I have always ‘thought’ I wanted.

Part of me gets frustrated because I have dreamed of a certain career for so long. Mostly I get frustrated because I realize that what I wanted to do was heavily influenced by television shows, movies, and media that do not accurately depict the emotions and reality of what it would be like to be in that career. All this time I was after a career based off of what I saw and what I believed to be true. Of course in movies and television, there is always going to be a happy ending or at least more often than not. How many shows and movies depict the true effects of a career, the stress, the anxiety, the PTSD, the nightmares, the worry, the what if scenarios, the fear, the pain, the injuries, the disconnection?

I now know that I will no longer be susceptible to the slanted truths or glazed over reality of a career that I had always envisioned. Here is to knowing what I want, knowing what I am after, and to taking the needed steps ahead to get where I want to go.

Envision your future. If you don’t like it, change it. Change it until the pieces fit together, maybe not perfectly, but enough for you to see what you want. We may never reach perfection, but we can take steps now to get us closer to accomplishing that image.

Find your purpose. Go after it.