We(i)rd

Do you ever lay down in the middle of the rain and try to watch a single raindrop fall from the sky? The feeling is so refreshing, but it is so hard to focus in on a single raindrop given how long it took you to focus in on it from when it came in your vision, to it being your only vision. I feel like that is life. How often do we have 1,000 things going on at once, but it takes us ages to actually see the one thing we have been looking for the whole time. You try so hard, you have your vision set, you know where you want to go, the answer is there, but you don’t realize it until it’s nearly smacking you in the face.

Have you ever been to a park with no children and just starred at the swings? Imagining all the little and/or big butts that have sat down on each of those swings. What were their stories? Who brought them there? How many children have been there for pure enjoyment? How many teenagers fled there to go cry and be by themselves. How many stories were shared? How much pain has been brought there? Who got hurt? Who found love? I just want to know all of their stories. If it wasn’t so creepy, I think I could sit at a park all day and just observe all the different types of people that go to swing. It is amazing the pure enjoyment that is felt when you just let yourself go and fly.

Have you ever imagined what it would be like if our fingers didn’t bend? How annoying would that be, I have had a few fingers splinted in my lifetime and I never recall that being a fun time. I had never thought about how valuable it is that our fingers bend. The creator of the body is a pure genius. Something so simple and overlooked, but yet so critical to our lives.

Have you ever been walking and tried to pay attention to each toe that touches the ground as you walk? Let me tell you, new appreciation for my toes. I hate the thought of stub feet. It is like our toes are little guiders that glue us to the ground to make sure we keep our balance and don’t fall over. I know a lot of stress gets built up in our feet, but there must be a good amount of stress right where our toes bend because all of our body weight and momentum gets rocked into those little babies everyday.

Do you ever sit in a silent room thinking and then find yourself having a conversation with yourself. Like it is me and my thinking, but sometimes I feel so seperated from it that it feels like I am talking to a completely different person. I’m just like eh no way, these are my thoughts. But why wouldn’t they be? I feel like it is just me challenging myself and questioning everything I am thinking of because I want to make sure I am not being oblivious or not seeing the other side of things. It’s weird.

I guess all I’m saying is, think about the little things. A lot of times I find myself thinking about how my actions come off to other people, just to see if the image of who I think I am matches up with who they make me out to be and sometimes I just laugh because I don’t think anybody really gets it. I don’t think they can get it. There’s no way they can get., but that’s alright. Sometimes we might make decisions we aren’t proud of, or maybe we just aren’t proud of them because we are afraid of the way people are going to think about us. The thing is, that’s you. Be proud of you. Don’t be ashamed that someone thinks you’re weird now, own it. They aren’t right for you. People who are worth it will stick around. In reality, you probably are weird, but your friends are just as weird just in different ways. Don’t be sorry because of what you did, be sorry that they can’t understand.

Stay weird.