Roots

Life.

I feel like I should just start and end the blog with just that one word.

Every once in awhile I get real deep in my feels about where I come from, where I am trying to go, who I am trying to be. Life can be so overwhelming at times. It can be down right scary. Sometimes I don't want to give myself goals because what if I never get there, what if I don't have enough time. We don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. If I don't plan something, then I don't have to get upset about it not happening.

I've always been a person that kinda keeps to myself. My mom and dad use to always get so upset with me because I would never bring my friends over to the house, I always wanted to be out. There is nothing wrong with being home, but I like adventure and something new. I knew what would happen at my house so I needed to put myself in a position to let things happen.

I believe that the mind grows when you take it to places it's never been or talk to people that have different views than you. Just because you don't agree, doesn't mean there can't be value in what your saying.

I've actually typed quite a bit and keep deleting because, well just because...

I decided to write a poem instead. It's a little reflection of back home...

______________________________________________________________________

In a town full of poverty

Where school isn't a priority

We drink and drive

but we're mostly high

Running from our sins

Our careers just begin

Mostly way too early

Bc school wasn't a priority

So we all dropped out

And now the word is out

That we'll be working til we die

Bc money doesn't fall from the sky

Why couldn't they warn us

That our decisions were putting a thorn in us

And now we must pay

For a decision we didn't mean to make

We were way to young to know

That the past would always follow

One mistake

and now we must pay

For the life we've been giving

We were just trying to make a living

I remember me and you

and how you use to call me your boo

I was on my way to college

Trying to gain more knowledge

But you decided to leave

Begging on my knees

It was the worse semester in the making

No phone, no you, just me and my blanket

I gave you all I had

Never meant to make you mad

You started dating

And I started hating

Who knew that you would call

Only to tell me to stop that talk

I tried to move on but it was too hard

Heading back home, I was texting you in my car

We were suppose to meet up

But I suppose your phone decided to freeze up

There will always be excuses

On my heart remains the bruises

Of who we were suppose to be

It was suppose to be you and me

But now we are all grown up

You're hair stylin and I'm still torn up

Can't text, can't talk

You always think I'm making it up

I must be going through hard times

It could never be the love I have for you on my mind

You'll never understand

Because you always think that I'm playing

I'm just here to let you know

That I'm finally letting you go

Because even a feather gets heavy

And I'm no longer letting it bury me

_____________________________________________________________________

Not condoning drinking and driving or getting high or any of that, this is just what comes to mind when I think of home. Love and drugs baby, love and drugs.

I am proud of where I come from, there may not be the nicest of neighborhoods, but they are the nicest of people.